Monday sometimes comes sooner than you want...or at least they feel like they do. I guess I feel like that cause I was working Saturday at yet another clinic in the far off distance that I have never been! LOL. Every day has been a bit of a windy road, with new things and places to see. It's what I do for now. When it was over, I finally figured out what happens behind those overly tall shrubs in Beverly Hill and Santa Monica--Croquet!! I kid you not. People team up and get all competitive, even with a margarita or two, and duke it out on the croquet field.It just so happen that one of my newer friends in this neck of the woods was invited to one of these events and was thoughtful enough to invite me along. I was a little nervous at first recalling other commentary from my park ranger friend and how she feels I fair in some social environments. "Ah, you'll be fine. I don't know anyone there but the host." She said mildly laughing at me as if I might actually feel shy. Hahaha.
We listened to music and sang random lyrics to songs together that you'd hear on what is now a classic new station, but I know them as 80s music. We talked about the issue of happiness, toxic people, how to or what we were presently doing with people that are family members that fall under the 'toxic' label. I happen to have a whole discussion on the topic the day before with a therapist I was sitting next to at burger shop. The short part of the discussion was there seemingly is no real rhyme or reason for how someone becomes or can be a toxic person to another. What is clear, is that a person, whether consciously or unconsciously, activates some part of another person's mental/animal instinct that most people don't experience as pleasant or have enough experience with (or too many), and the person involved becomes the problem, even if it was not them that created the original negative experience and attached behavior. It gets complex with all of the social, internal, and cognitive conditioning that goes along with it, but it is interesting.
Later, we left after making small talk and not winning the croquet event and just drove home. She had family to attend, and I needed to rest up a bit to make the karaoke scene in Santa Monica and see a few old friends. We took the scenic route back, which I guess was a former biking route for her but in my years of learning the area previously, was my back door escape to the beach. We talked. We laughed. We talked about relationships. I mentioned a new job opportunity that had been presented to me. We talked about intentions people have in friend groups. We discussed how we met, and the people involved and the other people involved and the roles they played in our lives at the present. I mention my email to K.C. and the actual letter to her father that at any point in time made me feel like I did the right thing, but at times made me wonder about the very topic on how people are part of a plan. We don't know what role they play in our lives or even what role we play in theirs. It could be that they are there to help guide you or the opposite-you guiding them by helping the other stay the course or remember why they started the journey in the first place. She disliked this particular worldview that I maintain about people, but maybe now she can appreciate it some.
As I mentioned in a previous post, I've been in the forest of life with periods of blindness due to my own humanity and its needs. Knowing this, I've had my hand on the proverbial hilt of my sword on the ready. You never know when you might have to cut through things, connections, or as necessary cut through the bullshit people give you with samurai precision and ninja stealth. Unfortunately, I'm good at this...wielding the sword. But I also know I have rage and anger that I've inherited; they are the two emotions anyone can have trouble knowing friends from foe when they lose control of them. These are the times that I look for the peace in situations, and there, in the passenger seat of pretty much a stranger, I let the sword go, and I grabbed her hand for just a moment...just long enough to come back into the moment and our conversation from the recesses of my mind. I told her I was just affirming her in her life process by the gesture. LOL. Maybe... We laughed some more and decided we would work on more adventurous things to do.
When I finally made it back to Santa Monica after my mild rest, the karaoke place was virtually empty. This only means one thing: experimental song night! Whenever there's no one in the place, it's the best time to try out new music or work on old music that needs a little more finesse! LOL. So I sang U2's Where The Streets Have No Name at the request of the karaoke host, and then I followed by singing an Eagle's song I hadn't actually sang in public before, The Best Of My Love (click to hear music). The lyrics made sense to me. They explained what had been happening in my former relationship not too many month ago leading up to the marathon experience, and the song came out virtually 40 years ago! WTF. Eventually I ended up talking to a gal that grew up in my step-father's home town in Mexico. She was pretty much floored that I knew most of the landmarks, store-owners or their children now running them, and other random historical information. It was on these streets that I began to become 'street' smart. I learned how to use a sling-shot, and most importantly, it was there that I learned how to sing mariachi music that lead to my being fluent in Spanish. How small the world is. I left early so I could get in some sleep, and so I could getup today to write this weekend wrap-up. There it is.
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