I had a couple of personal developments last weekend that started out last Saturday night after I went out with the Minnesota mystery girl. The outing was fair, but it ultimately ended early for her and then became a later night for me and my housemate. It was while we were out in the scene that it hit me ...the sensation that something was not right was in the air. As usual, I carried on, had a drink, and shot the shit with my housemate while we watched people dance while participating in the dating game! It was fun, but periodically, I had to take in a deep breath and wonder if my former was fine. Depending on your take on the interconnection of people that are close or have a deeper connection, it persists regardless of distance or time. We, or maybe more I, are still connected.
As much as I wanted to shake it, I couldn't, and I did what I might normally do any given day without letting the atmosphere steer me any one way. Then it happened--we ran into each other at the gym I've been going to since my arrival. Lots happened in those few seemingly timeless moments, and then we resumed what we were doing: her beginning her workout and me ending mine and leaving with my work-out partner. I felt light in the aftermath of it and that time was on my side. We still have it for each other, and people around us could see it. Then the chemistry between us, which was intoxicating..., only made it more clear we still have some things to work out between us one way or another! Lol. At some point, I will dialog about this dynamic part of dating and relationships after my present talk. It's my perspective on human beings, the Universe, and the intangible connections we have over time that we either acknowledge or become tormented by in a life-time.
The last time we finished talking about the Dating, Relationships and The Meaning Of Life subject, I left off asking a series of directional questions to follow after you get through your initial screening and determine you should meet this person, if you didn't meet them from the get-go, for the first time. Do you wait to test for chemistry or not? It can depend on the social scripting a person has or grew up with or maybe even their last dating experience, but, personally, I like to get in an initial kiss some time that first meet-up if I think it's on! I do this to verify that there is an actual interest on both parts. I also do this, pending the gal wants to also, to take in more of their pheromones by the proximity. If it's on, it's on! Then the rituals of dating. How many dates? What kind of dates leading up to that all-important day when the two of you determine to take kissing into the experience, which may happen or may not. It could happen the next day you meet up. It might happen the next day depending on how the night goes. Whatever the case is, keep in mind, the screening doesn't stop there!!
Most of our lives we've been shown or told that once you get to sharing sex, it's more or less a slam dunk! Right?! Everything will work itself out. "You'll know what to do once you get there," one of my uncles once told me. I'm gonna have to tell you, ladies and gentlemen, the truth...you've been likely living a fantasy world or half lie!! Hahaha. It's true! Once you actually get to the sex act itself things may go easier in figuring out what the other person is like, but this is when your education begins as a man and/or necessarily as the woman. You have to start communicating. However you do it, and what's working or not. For men, it seems we have to pay attention to a lot of things. How to kiss. What to kiss. What to do with your other hand when it comes to touching or undressing if you're just getting into it. Admittedly, some people are a bit more natural at this part, but it's not intuitive even if there are some general trends one can use to get into it. Your combined perception of sex and how it's supposed to go will be on display in these very moments. You may be shy or not. You should be patient and wait to be guided if your partner is a little slower at moving than you. Maybe you speed up in getting through the "FOREPLAY," or maybe you persist in it for a while cause you're letting the tension build up as you explore!!
Yes!! Explore! This is the time to see what you're getting into quite literally, and if you're really into that person and the chemical connection is high, you will want to take this time to take all of them in whatever way you can or are able. Think about it. Anything you can do to learn more of your partner's body, its texture, its shape, and smell only will bring you, and necessarily your partner's, level of arousal even higher. You will more quickly discover what makes your partner's body sing! You want this to happen so that when you actually get to actual sexual intercourse, you're not that far off from climaxing if you haven't already brought your partner there by the exploring and the 'taking in' of them.
Before too long, you're into it! You finally have moved into the position where she or he is able to receive you in the most intimate embrace of your entire existence! You have to move in a rhythmic fashion together or at least try because this is where most guys get it wrong! Why? You get it wrong because you know that you're 'together' and there is some exploration yet to be done!! Her deepest secrets are millimeters away from 'you', and this part of her person should be explored for sensation and finding those very small spots that have the highest nerve bundles in her body. Generally know as pleasure zones ( "G" or "O" spots), it's important to try and find them in the process of staying on point. It may happen the first time, but it might not. Whichever the case is, your partner will appreciate you all the more for not becoming a jack-hammer and trying to pound her into the apartment below! LOL. But, finding these zones will help you help her find a constant seemingly never-ending orgasm that she will thank you for when it's all over because there are more than just one type of orgasms for women! We guys only get one. More importantly, she will thank you with being more available to you even if she has another lover (cause that happens more than you might think). Taking the time to explore your partner, enjoying every aspect of her/his body (with enough time and positive affirmation...cause women are insecure about their body's more than they admit to), and continuing the exploration once you make your way into their"secret garden" will make her remember the experience for years to come even if you don't say together. It's true.
There you have it! We've gone from pre-screening potential dating partners to meeting that person 'en vivo' to deciding if, indeed, she or he will become a mate. Then, what happens after the fact leading up to that initial sexual encounter. So now what? You've tested the waters, and they are sweet. The person you just had an experience with is interesting and obviously into you enough for a potential follow up round or two. You feel she or he might be worth the while of getting to know more than this superficial but really intense experience. This is the dating and relationships component of the talk that I'm not sure I can speak about, but I may. I left out a lot of the step-to-step details on what to do or not in the bedroom, but I will come back to it in the near future. I hope you enjoyed the talk and consider that list of things that are more or as important as sex because now, if you aren't having the experience I just wrote about, what are you doing and why? Just a thought or two!! There it is.
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