Dating, Relationships, And The Meaning Of Life..?!?...Continued from August 10th

It's Friday!! At the office in Minneapolis, the back office biller would play this ridiculous Rebecca Black song-FRIDAY. It drove us nuts, but eventually it was just funny. Today's picture is me sitting at one of the offices I service in the south side of LA waiting for the police to arrive. Why? Cause someone managed to break into the place without a key or breaking any door window glass. "Interesting," I thought considering what was stolen--all the unattached computers, the back safe, and a few of the adjusting instruments. As I reviewed what I saw as I walked into the place with the second doc on deck, we concluded that someone must've had a key to pull that job off and attempted to make it look like it was a break in. The police agreed. Either way, the day turned out to be a fair one with my now regular drive home via the PCH into Malibu and through its canyon.

The last few days have been good. It's my last of two days of work this week, and I'm giddy that I'm meeting up with my Minnesota gal tomorrow night for some chow and a movie. I'm a little old school when it comes to going out on social events! LOL. As will be the case moving forward, I have no expectations of her other than showing up, being in the moment, and having a good time. Somehow I feel that's a good mix of things that people meeting up to socialize with one another should do remembering some things and leaving others in the past. Will it go anywhere? I have no idea. What I do know, is that there is high level of interest as there has been from the beginning, and I'm open to whatever happens or not as I should be considering! LOL. But, it's the next blog day, and I think we should get closer to the conclusion of this Dating, Relationships, and the Meaning of Life talk.

Last Monday I left off at the follow-up question to Question #6, that is Question #6.1, "How is sex for you?" This was essentially drawing out what the woman's experience or ability to achieve orgasm is in the activity leading up to the sex act or during the actual activity of sex itself. Recall that I mentioned the woman should be able to do so before the guy gets to his climax (If the guy has some kind of control of himself.) because he should be knowledgeable of your body and how it works. Also, his goal or objective in the sex interplay is to pleasure you or guide you to climax well before he reaches it or keep the two events as close as possible. I know that was a lot of stuff, but it continues to be true that 80% of the women in the world can't achieve orgasm under regular circumstances and much less with a newer lover. Everyone's sex is good according to them, but what does that mean? It could very well mean that she's not gonna tell you she can't climax or has a hard time doing so. And, you as a guy and participating gal should keep paying attention to the following.

It very well can mean that when that woman is in front of you, she's going to answer Question 6.1 in a manner that essentially says, "It's good," but it may also mean that she has no idea what good sex is in its basic expression, and it should involve achieving orgasm regularly! There are gonna be those times when it just doesn't happen, but if its the norm, something is needing some attention. Right about now, a lot of women reading this are spitting out their reasons why 'they can't' or what the 'conditions' are under which they can or feel most 'comfortable' in 'letting go' enough to reach it.

Let's respond to the general notion of conditions and being comfortable. If you're getting naked in front of someone and letting them be intimate with you (to put it nicely), I'm not sure you're gonna get any more comfortable than that!! It's the most exposed and vulnerable position to be in with another person, and at that point, all your inhibitions should be put aside....unless you're not being honest about how 'good' it really is or that maybe you need some more guidance. There are all kinds of reasons why women don't achieve orgasm. It could be they haven't taken the time to explore themselves enough to understand how it goes. It could be the guy they're with is a dud. It could be they've never really had an orgasm and are still clueless on what it's really like beyond 'sex' feeling really good. It could be that their upbringing didn't allow them the mental "It's O.K.," to explore that part of their humanity.

Lots of times, there is a misconception that the man is responsible for all aspects of the female orgasm, and I have to say that's just not true. Why?! If you don't want to have sex with yourself, why on God's green Earth would you expect anyone else to want to! True story. People exude a certain amount of energy, some of it is the sexual variety, and the more in touch you are with that part of yourself, the more likely you are to have 'something' to share with someone else and glow with it. Sharing. Yes. The act of sex is an act of sharing. You are sharing yourself, your humanity, and its very basic need to connect if only in that basic physical manner. But, there is more to it than just 'slapping skin', and why, being able as a woman in pursuit of it as a man, achieving the female climax is so important.

So why is that climax experience important to achieve? It's important for a number of reasons to include psychological, physical health, and the interconnected human experience that comes from it and the fostering of sociological health in and outside of the relationship. The ability to assist and achieve (male and female respectively) female orgasm affirms that the person you are sharing the experience with is interested in being an equal partner and not just a selfish player. The chemical release of Oxycontin fosters 'bonding' types of sentiments that help keep a relationship going and healthy; it helps the body relax and has a number of other physiologic effects to include those ones that are like taking drugs. This is why there are a lot of sex addicts out there; they get that same level of high they would from taking an illegal drug accept its legal, virtually free, and addictive. So gents, all the more reason to work toward that goal..she will want to share more of it with you, but then again, so will you.

When a guy is able to bring a female to climax or assist in the process, it works on his 'manhood' and his perceived ability 'able to do' set of skills. It tells him that he has the ability to satisfy and more importantly, in the right settings, achieve the steps necessary to foster the kind of relationship that will or could lead to procreation even if its not the conscious goal. The sentiment of 'being able to please' is part of our hard-wiring as people. It validates our being from our very core outward, and when we can do it well, we feel more connected to not only the person in front of us but humankind on the whole.

Otherwise, when we can't or you as a female can't achieve orgasm, it's like we never get to punch out of work proverbially speaking. Unfortunately, if the guy doesn't realize this (if he genuinely is taking the time to figure out how you work), his manhood takes a hit by what is an apparent failure in his 'able to do' list. This is the same for women!! If a guy you're with wasn't able to climax while having sex with you, how would you feel?! Like you're not attractive, or "it's" not that good otherwise he'd be done the minute it started! Right?!  So, it's important to invest some time in the very quality of sex we're going to have or plan on participating in by doing some screening of what "It's good," really means for a gal or a guy.

So now what? We've screened a potential dating partner, and you, more or less, given them the green light to go out, and maybe you get to that first date and discover you have a little bit of chemistry. What now? Do you wait to test the chemistry discovery or not? It can depend on the social scripting that a person has or grew up with or maybe even their last dating experience, but I like to get in an initial kiss. I do this to verify that there is an actual interest on both parts. I also do this, pending the gal wants to also, to take in more of their pheromones. If it's on, it's on! Then the rituals of dating. How many dates? What kind of dates leading up to that all important day when the two of you determine to take the kissing to the next level. This is a more involved deal that we will have to go over in the upcoming conclusion talk on Dating, Relationships, and The Meaning Of Life... To Be Continued Monday 08/17/15.