Well, it's October and that means beer tasting of some sort somewhere this month. I'm unsure how it's done in SoCal, but up in NorCal we run over to the North Beach in the City, and start making our way around to the various events and 'try' a taste or two of different beers from around the world and local breweries alike. I can't wait to see what the scene is like here. Not that I'm a big drinker, but it's good times to have a few and watch live music, eat a burger, and chill, which is what we're supposed to do on weekends!? Right!?
So we're having a bit of a grill and cocktail party at the house tomorrow night. It's not been too much of a planning burden considering my buddy is a "manly" kind of guy. So, brats, burgers, drinks, pool table games, and maybe a bonfire later in the evening. The invite list has been interesting to put together as most of my friends are either federal officers, medical professionals that work odd hours, but I invited everyone just in case. I figure the more the merrier one can be. I'll let ya know how that goes on Monday! LOL.
Ahh.. The job. The corporate job continues to have its pluses with patients, and its minuses with location and scheduling, but it has improved the last few weeks. Patients at the clinics I've bee servicing are on-board after I adjust them. It's true. I have an approaching 70% of new patients or other patients that have been schedule stalking me so I can adjust them. I'm apparently not supposed to make light of this because it has been stated as 'unprofessional' and 'condescending' by at least one of my contemporaries, but let's face it! If patients were getting what they needed or didn't notice such a big difference in their adjustment and overall care and condition after they left, they'd stick with whichever doc they started out with, but the number of people that are not has grown and going up.
I feel this is largely due to technique differences, refinement of actual adjusting ability, and the level of confidence with which I deliver care. I understand some docs have been in the 'industry' for years, but we have to ask what does that really mean? What was the chiropractic industry like 5, 10, 15 years ago? How many patients did you really see on average that whole time, and more importantly, is it possible that some new approaches to technique have arisen over time that may actually be more efficient, less stressful to the patient, and overall getting better results. I get it. I'm dealing with egos of old guys that are unhappy a younger guy, minority, and 'newer in the industry may actually know a few things...and it just so happens to be that I'm an award winning doc on top of it. I guess that the awards don't count! LOL. Cause the haters are gonna hate, hate, hate...Shake It Off!!
SOCIAL COLLATERAL.....Continued from September 25
I left off at some point last week on the topic or the development of "Social Collateral" which is something we consciously or at times unconsciously create when we interact with others and necessarily relate to them about what we're up to, our experience (good or bad or indifferent) with those endeavors/person/experience, and let them soak it up. Depending on the nature of the relationship with those peers (family, friends, co-workers, etc.) the perception of what you're saying to them about your experience will vary and will as their affirmation of you because this is the basis behind our relating to other-affirmation or confirmation of what we are doing or not.
Now, keep in mind, we can only create social collateral about the things we share with people. If you peer support group doesn't know something, they can not contribute to your affirmation of those activities, person, etc. because they haven't been given an opportunity to do so. That being said, people can only affirm or disapprove of the things that they have knowledge of and not the things they don't. If they don't know, they can't be put-off and will continue to give you whatever affirmation you left off with them last. There is no new information for them to grow their support or retract it; it essentially stays the same...good, bad, negative, positive, or indifferent.
As you should expect, the people that genuinely know you and care how your life turns out will be your biggest supporters. They know you the best, and usually have an inside knowledge of how you react to things..most of the time. They can pick up changes in your tone of voice, how you speak about things, or even when you don't speak about things; they know, more or less, what's up with you. So they ask and keep you essentially moving forward or attempt to stop you from something that they think might not be the best move, but they do either based on what you're feeding them consciously and unconsciously.
Sometimes our creation of social collateral and the opinion it carries for/of us is off. Some of you may recall the biblical story of Job that was one of the Almight's pride and joy. At one point he give permission to Satan to essentially mess up his life to show not only Himself that His servant was going to remain faithful, rich or poor, in the face of extreme loss. Job's friends had know him all his life and knew what kind of person he was, but they were also sold on some social scripting that essentially was straight line thinking: "If I do what God wants, I will be blessed. If I don't, I will be punished." This didn't start with their own think, but rather, it was what was believed by their community and likely Job's very robust lifestyle that he got from being God's right hand man in the season.
When things didn't add up, Job loosing everything not because he did something wrong but rather because God was using him to make a point, his friends or his social collateral began to work against him. "Confess your wrong doings because it must be why God is punishing you...confess, ask for forgiveness, and let God restore you." Is exactly what they said to Job their friend of a lifetime. The trouble was that Job hadn't done anything wrong, and did what he was supposed to even in the midst of calamity, great loss, and isolation because his friends stopped talking to him so that he would feel more compelled to confess. It was the logic that went along the lines of "If we don't talk to him, he will know we disapprove, and he wants our approval, so he will confess." So they isolated him and essentially condemned him so that he might have a reason to do something different than he was. In the long run, he remained faithful in the midst of his "Social collateral" telling him he was wrong.
What kinds of friends or family do you have that would do that to you? Are your friends or family gonna essentially tell you that you're doing something wrong, stop talking to you so you understand they're not happy with what you're doing (or not doing), and essentially give you an ultimatum to do what they want for their own gratification or else leave you. I hope not. Some people would say that that is emotional abuse because either friend or family should be there for you in your time of need, and maybe they would be but something was created in their logic by you or your lifestyle or regular choices that makes them think they should strong arm you instead of being supportive as much as they can.
The story ends with Job not budging on his acceptance of what the Almighty was doing to him. He remained faithful till the last minute, and He was restored to a point 10x what he had lost. It's a really good example of when social collateral can work against us. For sure there are plenty of instances when it works to our advantage at times when we think it is not......TO BE CONTINUED..
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