Friday: The Survival Instinct. Updated 3/10 @ 7:44 AM

It's Friday! Friday. Friday..well Sunday in all reality.The power cord to my PC died the other day, and it's not an easy one to replace it turns out. LOL. The weather is cool, the fresh smell of rain is still in the air, and it's breezy! It's the end of the first week of March, and hopefully your week was as good as mine. Butttt, it's at least FRIDAY and time for another weekly review of  Rants from a Midwest Guy In The Land of Milk and Honey! 

It was UFC Fight Night with Holly Holmes and Conner McGragor fighting a couple upwards bound champs, and it turned out to be a double upset for the night. A few of us had been looking forward to it like the millions of UFC fans around the world. For me personally, I was hoping Conner got his ass handed to him, and he got it alright!! Holly pounded Tate until she put her to sleep in the last round to become the new champion!! Both girls are hot! Strong is sexy!! What a bad night for Holly. The gladiators of modern day history...men and women alike. Why are we so involved and entertained by it? Why after seeing blood all over the place, eyes closed shut from pounding, and essentially animal-like behaviors drawing our attention?! It should be obvious, we love it!! But more importantly, we're all still animals with animal-like instincts, and whether we want to own up to it or not, there is apart of who we are, and that part of being responds to the "heard mentality" and our survival instinct. Yes. It's true. 

It seems like it's a thing of the past that the strongest, the people with the best gene pools, potentially most fertile people, and best worriers got to have the riches, the best looking mates, and essentially the cream of the crop. Everyone else get to divide what remains , if anything, and then except (or not) where it is they fit in the pecking order in the game of life or surviving it as it maybe. We don't like to think of life being unconsciously lived this way, but the fact of the matter is it is. Because of the way society has evolved, no one really has to strive to make it past the basics: somewhere to live, something to earn a living with, and maybe, if we're lucky, someone to share the time. Yes, we've bought into or perhaps been talked into contributing to the whole by "doing our part" and find happiness in it while all of the fruit of our life's toil really goes to a few other people that figured out something most of us haven't. The mathematician that got a noble prize for developing the model of economics based on a 'social sharing' concept is likely to blame.

He figured out that if all of the boys in a room go after the same 'desirable' girl and ignore the fact or fail to see that she has friends, only one person gets his needs met or wins the prize. Rather, he opined that if we ignored the most desirable girl and focused on all of her friends, everyone gets a proverbial piece of the pie, and the competition of the fittest goes away because everyone will have had their needs met by having nullified the lure of the most desirable. This works out fine in some economic systems, but the most desirable person or people still exist. The question is, "Where did they go?" And, "Did that animistic instinct disappear?"

The answer is simple. "No!" And, "They're everywhere we look...all those most desirable people." It's right there inside of every single one of us!! It's true, and we know it to be true by the very way we feel after we watch certain kinds of movies and tragic events like a car accident or the way most people will, for a moment, take notice of a really good looking gal or guy in a room. We eventually recognize this part of ourselves exists, but we rationalize it away and how we should go about dealing with it; we call this being apart of society and being cultured or 'not being tempted' to include the religious folks. For sure there is a need for order and civility, but what has happened? In those two categories, we begin to believe that we have to suppress the animal nature of ourselves. We need to be content with what we get. We shouldn't look over the fence and 'lust' after things that other people have, etc. etc. My question is, "Why not?" Why should we settle for what is handed to us and not desire different, better, or improved? How did all of 'those' people get to relish in the 'finer' things of life, and we get to support their enjoyment of it by how we live our lives trying to be like them! Hahahaha. This is still true...
TO BE CONTINUED....

Friday: Signs From Somewhere, Sushi & Sciatic Pain: Updated 3/8 11:33 AM

It's Friday! Friday! Friday! Unlike my normal work week, I've got this Friday off, and it feels good (less the pain down my ass into the back of my thigh and leg)! The weather is great. I've got a minimal number of administrative things to do, and I'm hoping I have a social outing lined up for tonight out of the seemingly few qualified dating candidates to have a "working interview" with over happy hour or karaoke as of late! LOL. Yup. I'm back to making that part of my world a reality as of this last week but not without a few "signs" to contend with from above as it seems. So, without to much more banter, please let me to amuse you (or maybe not) with another weekly review of  Rants from a Midwest Guy In The Land of Milk and Honey! 

It's true. Much like the Homeland, the Winter has been unusually warm here even in comparison to last year when I was visiting for the weekend. The 'mild' Winter in Minnesota has most people there content. I guess we actually get to experience some Global Warming in real-time, and for the part of it that isn't causing earthquakes, floods, and other random disasters, its been enjoyable. I'm sure the snow industry people will disagree, but I'm sure the State Fair people would too if it rained the whole time.

What has become part of my new weekly routine, when it actually happens, I've been hitting up a local restaurant/bar for $6 sushi night. I'm not a big sushi fan, but a couple of rolls here and there, some good company, and a drink after a good day's work or work-out is a pretty good end-of-the-day routine. Yup. It's Sushi night Thursdays at the Sunset Terrace, and it's part of my ever changing routine outside of going to the gym six of seven days. I felt it was time to catch up with a few of my fellow guy friends and make it a weekly or bi-weekly deal because it's pretty easy to get too busy doing other things, work too much, or just be anti-social from being 'tired' from work or working out. So, without thinking about it, I just put it in my planner and text people to find out who's gonna make it. This week it was one of my federal officer friends that happen to be in the area working a case. I thought it was odd she happen to be free that night because all of the guys either had husband responsibilities, work or whatever and couldn't make it out. I guess I could've just made it on my own, but the day before I was caught off guard by my former. Yes, it actually still happens to me...the getting caught off guard..LOL.


Wednesday, the day before as it was, was hump day at the office, and it seemed that everyone didn't want to show up on time for their appointments, or wanted us to wait for them after we would normally be closed...whatever the reasons were made the day long. In there somewhere, a gradual and slow headache started to grow. I got adjusted, and it only delayed the on-set. And at any point I get a headache, I'm pretty much done for the day being overly nice, or willing to look at computer screens. I have to call it a day except one of our patients got there late and wanted to get treated after her massage...not before but after requiring me to stay. I did stay, but by the time she got out, my head was pounding and my vision was starting to blur. I was pleasant, and got her taken care of and began my drive home. I was going to drive straight to my place, take some pain meds, and go to bed.

What I actually ended up doing was driving straight to the gym at the very late hour of 7:59 PM. I have made it a habit to get to the place on work nights as close to 7:00 PM as possible to have enough juice to get a descent pump in for the night if not only stretch and avoid the after work crowds and certain other people. I'm O.K with bumping into them, but I do still go through a few moments when I wonder if I should greet them and express things are cool and welcome. Why not?! Most of us practically live out of the gym when we're not working!! It was obvious in both our 'gains'. LOL.

I hadn't thought too much about till the last few weeks for good reasons (Dating, work development, etc.). In fact, I had written in my Filofax that I hadn't seen one of them, my former, at all that very morning. I mentioned a few other thoughts on us, the time of the year, and the events that unfolded in the weeks that follow. Writing it down sometimes makes it easier for me to keep it out of my head, to look at those thoughts for what they are (or what they're not), and allows me to function forward and stay on track. It's in moments like these and all of the activity I've involve myself (work, client development, gym, dating, meet-ups,etc.) that I realize I'm doing all of it, staying busy, so as to not deal with the topic, remaining related emotions, and what should have been a better outcome.

It was all good until I walked into the gym to try and work-down my headache only to have her face catch mine as I made my way into the place. It was as if in all of the weeks that we hadn't seen the other, my not giving it any attention, and likely her dismissing it lead to whatever events brought her to the gym at a time she's normally not there. And, we worked out. Eventually she left as I was yapping with the normal number of people I've become lifting friends with over the months. She was watching, and I hope it was a good experience for her because it should be. 'Little by little we meet in the middle.." The BeGees. The whole ordeal isn't too far of a stretch from her coming into Starbucks last month. It's likely not anything to think about, but I have to read the signs for what they are when they come to me, and I'm finding more peace in leaving that door open than attempting to close it off in my movement forward. I say it because every time I've tried to close her out of my person and not seen her for good stretches of time, she pops up..literally, and it's O.K. I'm must a little surprised by it when she does appear. LOL. So, I'm just leaving it open in my non-expectation of anything beyond good vibes.


Speaking of signs...how many religious symbols does one really need on the back window of their car to let you know they're not only Mexican but also Catholic? This guy stopped at four..The Virgin Mary. Jesus Christ. The Holy Spirit Dove picture, and a pic with three crosses. Yup. That's the sign you're driving behind a Mexican and that they've got afterlife insurance. Just saying!!! Hahahah.

It's probably because I made fun of the guy in the picture next to me yesterday that today I'm suffering from Sciatic pain!! Pain in the ass is what most older people experience at some point in their normal life activities. Athletes experience it from time to time when they over do too much of one or the other activity. I got it from running too much, too soon attempting to be ready to run the LA marathon. It's been killing me, and I know I can fix it. I have good success with it every day, but every day is another day I go to the gym and try and keep myself balanced. After some regular adjusting, physio-therapy, and a sports specific massage, it turns out that its also a low-back issue that I've had for years, and now I'm working out to keep my body stable and strong to manage the pain versus grow for competition. All is fair in love and war they say. I guess those people didn't have low back and sciatic pain when they had to do normal adult stuff! Hahahah.  That's if folks. Enjoy the rest of your Friday and weekend. Till next week, "Be well. Do good work, and come on back." G. Kieler.

Friday: An Unbelievable Life, The Mist & Movies: Updated 2/22/ 7:04 AM

It's Friday!!!! Friday!!! Friday!!!  Yes, another week of your life has just passed by, and I hope it was awesome, full of love, and that you took plenty of pictures, selfies or otherwise, to remember it all by. I will admit the week had as much vacillation as I did in my traverse though it. The unseasonably warm weather for February was nice except on marathon day when it was, again, pleasantly too hot by the 10:00 O'clock hour. The rest of the week was a good mixture of rain, sun, and clouds much like today's drive into the office if you look at the picture on the left. The weather brings me into different mind sets, and I find myself challenged at times to be energized with all the forward talk, etc. etc.  I guess it's why the weather in Minnesota is tough--it messes with your emotions, and that eventually effects your thoughts, and that eventually can lead to changes in your behavior (Or the lack thereof.)..,but we love it!!! LOL. We love the change in the seasons....Summer to Fall and Spring to Summer. So, for entertainment purposes at least, please allow me to entertain you (or maybe not) with another weekly review of  Rants from a Midwest Guy In The Land of Milk and Honey!

Last week I managed to get myself to the movies to see Dead Pool. It's a Marvel comic hero's story that I had never even heard of till the movie. The one liners, the overly obvious plot, and the unusual love connection were hilarious to watch and definitely make the movie a must see (maybe a 2nd time). Yes!! It was pretty much right on up at the top of my movie list with the original Iron Man movie for action and character development, and honestly, I was entertained the whole time. I think I will be seeing the Zoolander 2 Show this weekend or Being Single depending on which of the friends ends up going with me to see it. I'll let ya know which show and what my reaction, or lack thereof, is next week.

If you're wondering what the white haze is in the picture above, it's not snow!! By the way people were driving in it, it might as well have been snow. It's the fog/mist that forms in the mountains or creeps up from the ocean in the early AMs, and last night was cold making the mist a bit more thick after the rain the day before. It was beautiful. The picture to the left is what it looks like as you're making the approach. Breath taking scenery going through the pass only to be greeted by the sun on the other end of it and the very blue water off of the PCH. Hahahaha. 

Not as much as when I first started the Malibu gig, the Mama and the Papas' California Dreamin starts to play in my head if I'm not playing it on my stereo. Today it just played in my head till my stereo got reception when Fleetwood Mac's Everywhere was playing on one of the beach music stations. I laugh because it's the song that also plays on the POWERBALL commercial of a guy talking about how his day was the same, but then it wasn't! He had won the Lotto. Well, working at the place that I do, with the schedule that I have, and the compensation that I'm generating from taking in all the personal injury people that the office used to turn away is like me winning the Lotto (Relatively speaking).  How did it happen? How did I end up in one of the most prestigious places in the world to work as a chiropractic lead at the number one office in the area?! I ask myself this everyday I make the drive over the mountain. I listened. I waited. I perfected more of my craft. I found the peace in things, and I decided to show up in California for a completely different but related reason. Somehow, in the mist of utter failure and personal loss, I believed in me and what the Creator was saying to me through the Universe (Something like that.) and all the events (signs) in my life. Hahahaha.

It's almost unbelievable when I think and talk about it with people. Then again, when I think about my life, my unbelievable life, it was gonna happen to me as long as I did my part as I reluctantly had all along. My part was to show up to see what might happen so that 'life' could happen. Sometimes you just have to show up for life, the people in it, and make it to places with, and in some cases, without them for you to fulfill your part of the plan. You never know what may happen. You don't know if someone else, knowingly or not, needs you to show up so that they are moved in the right direction in their life. You may never know that smiling at someone who maybe on the verge of checking out of life might actually keep them around a little longer so that they can find their own reason to continue on. That's why it's important you show up!!! It's not only is about you, it's also about the people that are connected to you. Enough of that gibber/jabber talk.
Till next week, "Be well. Do good work, and come on back." G. Kieller. 

Friday: Valentine's Day Weekend, The LA Marathon & Friends

It's Friday!!!! Love seems to be in the air everywhere this last week making it one of the reasons it's a special weekend. It's Valentine's Day weekend!! There are balloons, red colored candy, and flower specials everywhere reminding us/me that we need to tell that special someone we care about them and appreciate all that they do for us...ya know...let them know they're special. In light of it, I will be sharing a few activities this weekend with some of my single friends and do fun things like watch Zoolander 2 or Deadpool, grill-out, laugh some, drive one of my buddy's Mclaren's to a car show in town, and a couple of us are going to watch this year's LA Marathon!! 

Yes, it's the other major reason the weekend is special. I will not be running it as I had hoped to because of the date change (one month earlier due to the extreme heat hazard last year) and because I ended up with some sciatic pain training for it (Too much too soon.) I guess I needed a running partner to help keep my strides shorter, even and manageable! Hahaha. So, please allow me to entertain you (or maybe not) with another weekly review of  Rants from a Midwest Guy In The Land of Milk and Honey!

Hallmark has created most of its legacy out of cards, gifts, and everything imaginable because we need help as people to remember 'to remember' there are people contributing to what we know of as our life. Even the people that we don't have a close friendship/relationship with like the barista at your local coffee spot or bartender at your routine bar is someone that contributes to your life. They understand you have a busy life and may not always remember them, but your job is to appreciate the impact they're having on your life (..if not with gratuity) and acknowledge them as human beings even if it really is their job is to make you feel welcome. 

The other people...the special ones in our lives that make our heart speed up or skip a beat..these are the people that hopefully you've been letting know all along that they count because you couldn't rest not knowing they're O.K. because he or she, 'completes you...,' as Tom Cruise said in Jerry McGuire. Everyone communicates and gives love a little differently, and sometimes you have to take the time to understand, if it's not obvious to you, how your significant other does it as well as how you do. If you're anything like me, I'm a mess like Bowie and his China Girl! 

Some people are gift givers. Others like to perform 'acts' of affection for you like cleaning your car or help you get things done on your list of things. A lot of people need to hear a verbal affirmation from you that you're thinking of them. I guess that's a touchy one, but as long as you don't feel you're dating the Wham girl or guy from Everything She Wants, taking a little bit of time to get it more right than not is key to more happiness and long-term love stability. It's almost rocket science with some people, but with a little bit of 'open' talk, you maybe able to work a few miracles.

If you are a little less of a romantic and need the Hallmark reminders, I guess it's a good time to go all out!! Get some flowers, consider a nicer place to enjoy a meal, or maybe take the time to find an appropriate type of chocolate that they like. You never know now and days. We all like to pretend we're stoic and that these types of days can just come and go and not tell us something, but you and me both know, it's so much nicer when even little things are done to show us gratitude or affection. And when a partner's affection rains down on us like a monsoon, suck it up! Enjoy it. Appreciate it just a little more cause you never know...this may be the time that you need it or they need to hear it, see it or experience your affection whatever way you choose to do it. 

It wasn't too long ago I put up signs to show a woman that I wasn't even involved with officially anymore that she still counted to me. Yup. I put up bright neon color signs lining the Santa Monica Blvd essentially stating our time mattered as much as she had. Today, I would settle for playing WHAM's Careless Whisper on an old school boom box  in a parking lot outside of the woman that matters to me now...even in this late hour as a romantic gesture. Hahahaha! I guess I'm a hopeful romantic and optimist when it comes to some things and some people in life considering how mine has gone thus far. Enjoy your weekend and have some fun, and remember to smile just a little bit more because someone thinking of you!! Below are the lyrics to an old Bob Dylan song that Adele took up.

When the evening shadows and the stars appear

And there is no one there to dry your tears

I could hold you for a million years

To make you feel my love

I know you haven't made your mind up yet

But I would never do you wrong

I've known it from the moment that we met

no doubt in my mind were you belong

I'd go hungry, I'd go black and blue

I'd go crawling down the avenue

No, there's nothing that I wouldn't do

To make you feel my love

The storms are raging on the rolling sea

And on the highway of regret

The winds of change are blowing wild and free

You ain't seen nothing like me yet

I could make you happy, make your dreams come true

Nothing that I wouldn't do

Go to the ends of the Earth for you

To make you feel my love

To make you feel my love

Dylan 

 #GetAdjustedToTheGoodLife #Whatismissinginthispicture #Californiadreaming

Friday: Healing Whispers Through Time, Space, and Emotion. Updated 8/24: 3:15 PM

O.M.G. It's Friday!!!! Thank God Almighty the weekend is now here! Sure, I'm working part of it, but it's the best day of the week for most of you, and that means another week of your life is gone! Did you do anything different? New? Whatever happened, hopefully you week was memorable and better than the last one. Whatever is the case, it's time for another weekly review of  Rants from a Midwest Guy In The Land of Milk and Honey!

Last weekend started out pretty typical for me...a drive to work through the canyon and a short ride down the PCH to my Malibu client's office, but not before I made a stop by my neighborhood Starbucks for a cup of Joe. A cup of Joe is good company if there's traffic because it's so much easier to deal with any traffic if not dismiss it when I can sip and listen to the music. 

I admit the weekend was, much like the rest of the week, permeated by last Friday's morning coffee experience with my former. The more I thought about why it stuck with me, it became more clear; I had anticipated that day for so long (well since my arrival to California) that the fact that it was actually happening didn't register in my head, and I had drowned out its possibility or hope with other noise from other parts of my life. Fortunately for me, one of my morning coffee friend was there to more or less keep me in the present. 

This eventually led to me reading over a few emails (Five Total) I had sent to her, and in one of them I mentioned that whenever I had made it to Starbucks that, "I, at times, sit at Starbucks wondering if you're gonna walk in one day...foolishly being a hopeful optimist." It was in that instant that I was signally to her and myself that I was letting it go. Or so I thought. I had written those words because she had not taken the time to acknowledge me or any of the emails I had sent her because it was according to her, "better for me not to so I can move forward," when we did finally run into each other and talked a bit months after my arrival. Yeah. It took that long because I was not forcing the issue or going out of my way to make anything happen. I thought about it since she said it, forward, because she had used it before. 

The word itself, forward, never made sense to me when she used it because when it comes to people dynamics/interactions there is usually more than one person involved. To move forward implies in its very nature that there is nothing holding you back and that all things particularly between you and that person are resolved as best as they can be for any one party can actually move "forward" from the interaction(s) together or seperately. No one person involved in the interplay can determine that the other party is unable or not worth resolving the issues with when both are clearly not 'clear' of negative energy being emitted by it even after time. 

Both parties have a responsibility to the other, if not to themselves to be willing or at least see there is basic need to bring resolve when they are aware things are not whole or right. No one, in good conscious, should walk away from difficult or even hurtful situations, when appropriate, so as to wipe the slate clean of the other or the situation(s) because the notion implies 'as long as I can shut out that part of my life experience or that person everything will be "'O.K.'" Right?! But, will you be? Will one, you or the other or both people be "O.K."? Can one live well with a divided self? The answer is easy: NO. You can not...not a full and healthy life that is engaged with all the facets of being a human. I guess if you just want to simply exist, it's possible, but those people have a tendency to become addicts because they have to drown out the pain of not feeling or feeling the wrong things. We should want more out of life when we can have it!! This is true.

It was not as foolish as much as it was positive thinking on my part to believe that a better resolve could come from my hopeful optimism of a better ending between her and me even if it only amounts to amacability according to my mentor. What you can think of in your person, mind, and feel in your soul may very well be a true resonance from the Universe prodding you to get to it or back into it that situation. Listening to those resnonances from within me changed my life when I was a younger man; it's what brought me as far as I've come, and it's what help create the way I think and continue to evolve as a person. What I had to do was listen, be aware of the signs, and find the peace in and toward them as they related to my path. Albeit, it has not been easy task to do so at times, and sometimes the pain and the difficulties of the situation(s) can make it hard for us to listen or even want to listen, but we have to because it's not just about you or me-it's about everyone, and the outcome of your life as well as theirs depend on it.

So, my life went on as usual the days that followed: I worked  my normal number of days and times. I met Cindy Crawford. I made a few social calls. I went on a date. I did some relationship building time with my adopted sister. I worked on my jeep. I tried to be as content as I could be knowing I'm not dealing with blizzard conditions like everyone is in the Homeland. But, in the moments in between those activies, in there somewhere, I could still hear the music...the one that plays within the recess of my person making some of my thoughts fuzzy and other ones more clear as the minutes passed. I'd watch the sun set, and when I wasn't exhausted I watch the sun rise making me smile at one or both because I know I'm sharing them indirectly with someone close to me.

It's in these in between moments that I find myself whispering into the air as if a certain someone was standing next to me listening. I tell her about the weather and how good we have it laughing at the fact that it was she that pointed it out to me sarcastically as we watched the sun set on Zuma. When the air is so cold that I can see my breath and see the heavy mist on the mountains, I comment into the air that it's super beautiful and smile wondering if she got that same image as she drives to work or does whatever she's doing. When I watch UFC matches and people are yelling and cheering, I laugh half knowing she's doing the same thing somewhere else if not in the same place and I didn't see her there. I'm sure that sounds crazy, but considering the interconnectedness of all things, it's really one way to create within yourself positive vibes and emit them to someone somewhere else. Again, things that should be shared directly, but I can settle for indirectly till a different day arrives or the internal draw to do so fades. 

Sending positive vibes through the atmosphere not only helps me feel better about her and the situation, things and places we shared together, but it also changes my ambiance, which the opposite..attempting to squelch out all of our time, the good and bad, as if that part of our life didn't exist leaving you with a 'vacuum' effect to the rest of your life. This can only change your ambiance to one that is less neutral which is what people try to achieve by moving forward but can't because the vacuum is pulling them back or stalling their forward progress in conscious and unconscious self-defeating thoughts and behaviors. 


My recent new perspective of shame, guilt, and social judgement from my study of the Brenne Brown series has challenged my need to complete my book. Yes. I 'promised' I would not relent until it was 100% complete. I'm completing the final approvals for the pages of the book now, but I wrote the story originally to tell people the background story of my personal life versus all the crap that was actually happening in my life beginning with my cancer survival experience and its aftermath to the day I arrived in California again last June. The trouble is that I can't finish the story as it ended in my blog. The story is still happening now and days we see each other since. It's only happened a handful of times, and for whatever reason more in the last few weeks than the last few months all together. So, I've had to think just a little more about it every day. I hadn't thought about it for a good while until last week when she walked into the place I've sat at nearly every day I had a chance hoping she might break her silence towards me. And her walking into it knowing I was there, is a good sign that I need to rethink what I include in the book even if nothing comes out of it for me or between us, but it will give her some control of that part of her life again...maybe even some peace of mind.

The picture with the white lounger has a plywood printed picture that will be the cover picture of my book. There it is.
#GetAdjustedToTheGoodLife #Californiadreaming #Whatsmissinginthispicture   

Friday: Life, An Oil Leak & Familiar faces! Updated: 1/31 01:29 AM

 It's Friday! Friday. Friday..and I'm working, but another week of your life just passed by, and hopefully it was better than the last one if not just as good. One never knows with the kind of weather we've been having, but it's at least FRIDAY and time for another weekly review of  Rants from a Midwest Guy In The Land of Milk and Honey!

Life Topics:
Like most weeks, I have a few days off that I use to get basic things done; they're not always in a row, but I use them when I get them. And when I do, ya know, I clean my house, pick up the yard, and make sure there's enough food to make for whatever number of meals I need for the following three to four days. As of late, I've been finishing tracking down minor issues with my Jeep. Yes. It's on-going fun hobby because it does run smooth and clean. LOL. It's the middle of the road maintenance stuff like checking the brake lines, changing out the various fluids, and tracking down the last of the oil leak(s) I virtually knocked out last week have been a bit of a process. The Jeep dealership says the pan bolts "do" get "loose" from time to time. So, it's good to check them every so many miles, which for my jeep was about 25K miles back! The clean up of the oil leak has been taking way longer than I thought because the old oil mess has to be cleaned away one section at a time. The 'coating' of oil was a good 1/4 of an inch thick through most of the bottom of the Jeep, which may have slowed down or prevented any new rust while I was home the last two Winters.  

Since last week, I managed to get myself to the beach. Yeah. It's been awhile, and I've found, or at least noticed, that I'd been unwilling to go it alone. What's funny is that I essentially work one block away from the beach, and it hasn't seemed to matter. I can't muster up the mental energy to go. What usually happens is I wait for other people to go or find someone to go hiking with me around the trails, but actually driving myself there has been a tooth puller. Hahaha. I guess I haven't been sure how it would go considering Berlin's Take My Breath Away or some other Current Life Sound Track starts playing in my head when I pull up or am driving down the PCH, and the figure and face of a familiar woman come to mind. I guess..

The day was beautiful. The weather was warm, and the sun was bright. There were lots of people out getting their sun time in as well as sharpening their climbing skills on the cliffs. I missed it...the care-free nature of it all, and somehow I was happy to be there in the moment with my partner. I'm sure part of it was her company, but I'm also sure it was the memories I had of the place and my former partner that had brought me to it just over a year ago. Both the present and the not so distant past were full and filling with good vibes, and I was O.K after all. It was all just O.K., and it made me wonder then as much as it has been all week about it.

More faces came to mind that I had shared the same experience with in times past, but only one of them usually was accompanied by the music playing within me. It made me wonder how she is and what's happening with her. I smiled hoping she was well and more happy as time has moved forward for both of us. I continued to smile, and stayed there in the moment. When the beach experience was over, we left and did random acts of shopping at various places that were having sales. That's right! That's my favorite kind of shopping...sale or thrift-store shopping! It was a good day that ended with some karaoke singing, a burger and fries with a guy that sings like the lead from Boston taking the MIC with me.

The rest of the week, besides work days, was normal with an extra today, and I'll get to that in the social section. The picture to the right is from the Malibu Canyon road. What you see is "The Colony" where all of the Malibu Country Mart shops are; it's in one of the buildings just behind all of the shops that I provide services to one of my main clients. It's what I do. I meet new doctors that need 'fill-in" work all over L.A. and this particular client and I hit it off well enough that he ask me to provide regular services at his office. It's been soo nice to just drive there and not all over Lala land to work. I've been practicing there since last November ramping up my days and hours till present. It was more than just chance that brought role into fruition. I laugh with wonderment when I think about all of it and remain thankful that it did happen...most of it that is.

Social & Personal Development: 
The Malibu schedule has allowed me some normal life activities much more regularly than did my corporate client that facilitated my transition here. I have a body-building regimen with a normal group of people I work out with on different days, and that has lead to me having people that I'm personally training and rehabbing when I'm not in the office. This is all good even if I've been dealing with the sciatic pain I developed from running all those miles the last few weeks of marathon preparation. I'm likely not going to run it to prevent more pain and injury, but I wanted to get back into some middle range mileage so that I'm staying leaner in my growth overall. Hahahaha. In some intricate way, I was embracing new memories for running the area. Like I once said, "I'm going to get shredded after I'm done running this race," and I'm following through with all of those things till this day, but I wouldn't mind sharing more of it with a few friends and maybe the Mn girl if that situation improves any. I'm hopeful it will with time and positive vibes. She was courageous in her move out here, and after all that book reading I did, I appreciated all that she had to endure for what is supposed to be a better life than what we knew in Mn. Courage spawns courage in others, and this brings me to this morning when I took this picture to the left...my Forest Gump picture. LOL. Because it's exactly what I felt like after this morning's coffee experience. I just sat there taking it all in and being at peace with it. So what happened... 

As I do most days I might be stuck in traffic (It's mild traffic through the canyon.), I grab a coffee and sit a few minutes getting my day together. I make small talk with the old guys and few of the other morning regulars when I'm not nose deep in my PC or planner. Today, as I was conversing with one of the regulars, a familiar face walked in to the place. I instantly flashed-back to the previous year where we had walked in together before her hurry down the freeway to get to work. Hahahaha. My friend noticed my attention diverted, and as she turned to find out why, and she knew instantly. I politely tried to keep in the moment and follow up with the conversation we were having, but it was obvious I couldn't. The music in my head was already too loud and switching between songs so that the lyrics matched what I was thinking and half feeling....Somewhere betweenChicago's Hard Habit to Break, Adel's Hello, and Jackson Brown's Somebody's Baby! I was unprepared for it even though I had drempt about it happening and thought it through figuring out what I should and should not say if that day ever came! But, none of it came to me much like our previous run into each other at one of the local grocery stores a few months back (I felt like Forest Gump.) LOL. Nostalgia got the best of me in those few seconds. 


I mean...I wasn't sure if I should've walked up to her and offer to pay for her coffee, ignore her, start singing what was going through my head or what! So, I did the next best thing and readied myself to hit the road like I had planned to do at 7:15 AM. My coffee friend understood what was happening, and she left just a little before me as I stopped to refill my cup so 'we' could talk if that was gonna happen. I walked over to that familiar face to gesture I was not closed off to her and politely said, "Good morning." She acknowledged me, and that was it. It was another courageous move on her part to walk into the place knowing I was likely there.

I started to leave the store stopping to say 'hi' to the old-man breakfast club while laughing a bit with them and their recent facination with my Malibu patient cliental. It seemed as if nothing had changed in my sentiments for her in the moments that followed except it was a year later, I was wearing my "Doc" scrubs, my Jeep was outside, and we, KC and me, were not walking out together. It was a good experience on any account. It seems that there is still room for improvement on my part because I could feel it--energy--between us that I want to express in a positive manner because that's what I want....good and positive vibes between us, and if I can think it and feel it, things can happen. Quietly with my mentor and here in my blog publicly I've talked about having more of those situations happen between her and me so we can normalize some of the energy between us and eventually work towards being neutral and positive. Then, if it happends, we might be able to be like most other people you see regularly and just shoot-the-shit without any concern other than being there in the moment, and maybe we can move forward with a better feel for each other and our time together. MLK is right, "..you can fight the dark with light. You can only heal hurt with love, and you can only understand one another when you communicate with one another." There is no better time than the present, and now is the time. Maybe it's time, and I'm willing to show up and see what happens. All things are one. 
Till next week, "Be well. Do good work," and come on back again.

#GetAdjustedToTheGoodLife #Californiadreaming #Whatsmissinginthispicture 

Friday: Jeep parts, The office and Friends..Updated 1/25 @ 11:26 AM

It's Friday! T.G.I.F.! Hahahaha! Another week of your life just passed by, and hopefully it was good and spent well. And now it's FRIDAY, and it's another weekly review of a Rants from a Midwest Guy In The Land of Milk and Honey! 

This week I had a couple of days off in the middle of the week, and I'd been itching to get a few things polished off on my Jeep....namely getting an oil leak(s) taken care of that has seemingly gotten steadily worse over the last month after I replaced the valve cover gasket (I do my own repairs when I have the tools to do so). After some other routine maintenance things on my tires at Firestone and a machine job at the brake shop in town, I, or rather, all of us concluded that the oil pan gasket needed to be replaced. 

This lead to some probing, and YOUTUBE channel education on 'How-To' change and replace the gasket only to discover I likely needed to change out the rear main oil seal, which was much easier to to do then originally thought. In the end and after some de-greasing, I checked the bolt sizes to make sure I had the right sized sockets. Sure enough, as I was sizing them up, I found the entire front end of the pan bolts were not tight at all. Go figure that this stopped the oil leak as yet! It saved me about $60 and four to five hours of labor time, which is nothing compared to the $660 any of the garages wanted to charged me to do both...OMG!! Thus far, the I've replaced the brakes (front and back), the front and rear shocks, and the plugs, wires, cap and rotter. Yeah, I'm still MexiCAN!


ON THE JOB: My client schedule has varried every week which sometimes gives me a day or two off during the week; it just depends on what the patient population needs. The reasons vary from their G5 being delayed, 'on-set' delays or stresses, and the occasional they over worked themselves on-set, and now they're a mess! LOL. I get it, and they get it, and that's why the office is there and they come to us. So, a little schedule flex between weeks.

My name plate is in the process of being created and will be replacing one of the names presently listed at the hallway door. It's a place of honor and humility, and it also validates that 'I know what I'm doing' considering the Malibu population. Beyond just having a enough raw talent, I'm sure there's an element of luck in there somewhere. Hahaha. 

ON THE SOCIAL ARENA: I was having coffee with Al the other day to go over some of the places and things we want to try and get to on days we have off together to keep it real and share a few things. Between her ER schedule and my revolving day schedule, there are chances we might actually have off together less her kids' schedule. In between all of it, we laughed at her new dating or 'not dating' experiences and her overall life and friend transition that has occurred for her in the last year. Not one of the people that were her friends, outside of her kids' parents, are in her life present day. All of those friends that either picked her now X-husband to stick with or just decided to not participate are gone. That amazes me. It makes me think about all the reasons people are in our lives at all besides the momentary experiences we share with them. I'd like to think that if you share enough of them that you have some kind of substance between you and those people so that when difficult things happen they stick it out, but I'm not sure that's every really been the case. When I see all of the people around me or hear about other peoples' lives and experiences..or even my own experience last year, I take in a deep breath and let it go...slowly. 

 In that light, I put a face-value amount of energy into the people I meet or even see regularly because in the end, one has to interact with the world if not only to make sure you're not loosing it or too disconnected from it. This is the same for me at Starbucks, the gym, and now at my work place. Even when I do see my former KC from time to time at the gym or some other place, I realize it just that moment in time and nothing further. Sure I look forward to seeing the people that I regularly see because it gives me a sense of belonging but not necessarily being apart of their lives or them mine; I think I miss that part..the having someone being involved in my life more than just a regular passer-by. You would never know anything different if you knew me. I smile the same (OK maybe you don't see quite as many of my teeth when I'm not fully smiling), and it's usually welcoming and looks like I've gotten a lot of work done on my teeth even though it's definitely not so. LOL. 

Then I recall, why I feel good about those experiences and why I smile or feel mildly apart of the moment...because the experiences are generally neutral to positive in nature. I have no expectations of those people going or doing anything different making them, the experiences, at least pleasant. The more of them I have-positive or even neutral moments with people-the more likely I will be open to them for more of whatever necessarily allowing my willingness to be more vulnerable with them to go up. So, I smile. It makes me hopeful knowing this very simple non-activity may be able to change my experiences or other peoples' experiences with me to a more even one..one that is neutral and ultimately will become positive. And if I can achieve that without an agenda, I will be more apt to be content, feel pleasant, and eventually open up more to people..even ones that the experiences were mixed or less than neutral. 

I was just thinking all of this as the sun started to show today. In time, I'll expand on my thoughts in the weeks to come. The pics are of a few friends including Al that have stood the test of time, crap, and distance. I guess I better get to the drive over the hill and get to the job. Till next week, "Be well. Do good work," and come on back next week.