May 20th, 2015
The sun is just starting to pierce the cloud layer. It might actually be a half sunny day today. I only knew this because the little light I do get in the AM wakes me; it's something that I can't control very well. If the sun is up, I'm up. Sure I try and stay 'resting' under my comforter, but my brain turns on if it hadn't been going during the night, and last night it was going. It happens from time to time where in my dreams I'm having a fairly detailed talk about something. We're trying to figure out what to do or what happened in what seemed to be some past event. This morning, it was more of a "what should you do" when you get into town this weekend.
Yeah. I was conversing with the 'girl' in my dream even though we haven't talked in a while. We both were going to be flying in this Memorial Day Weekend to share the news of our lives with the people that mattered most to us. But, that part dream is over....the part where there was a family, and living arrangements being made, and plans for the future being drawn out. I'm mostly O.K. with it. I'm not as O.K. with the silence between her and me because of all the hype we both created between us, individually, and the hype we created socially; it seems impossible to retract what we tell our friends. Why? Because our friends are protective of us. They will take whatever you tell them that is negative about 'that person' and make it into a filter that never really goes away...even if you make a case for reasons to believe otherwise; they always thing the other person is taking advantage of your emotionality of the situation. So we as people need to be careful with how we convey the other person because the backwash is often hard to deal with...but you have to eventually. I know this because even my mentor was taken back by my removing my blog from the Web so
the girl and me might have a bridge towards reconciliation--this doesn't mean we're gonna get back into a relationship. It, at a minimum, will hopefully become a peaceful and positive experience when and if we do see each other as it always had been when we started out. You need people you know or you can trust enough to get by in California. Cali is big, beautiful, and difficult and lonely when you're in it on your own and everyone is telling you that you made a mistake in going, and you start to think they're right, when in fact you just need to root some, and it is nice to know someone, anyone that's from a place you came from...here....Minneapolis in California.
So I don't discount all of the content of dreams. In these situations, the one that I had recently wrote about in my other blog, Get Adjusted To The Good Life, it is best to start over every day you are in and move forward with no intentions other than being real, honest, understanding, and full of good will towards anyone involved. I've personally learned, even in this series, that life is too short, and at times can be taken from you early. So, why bother trying to keep a negative outlook on people..especially the ones you love.
So, it's Wednesday, and I have to go be a doctor for the day. I'll put on my game-face. I will be pleasant. I will sing a tune or two. I will be precise with my diagnostics and care plans for my patients. They will have a great experience and want to come back when I prescribe for them to do so. I will say, "Yes," more than, "No." I will laugh and smile. I will think of the things to do in the sun if it stays out long enough for me to enjoy it at the end of my day.
Red Light by Jonny Lang
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